work is piling up... urgh i hate attending tutorials without doing tutorials. makes the tutorial seem v useless. i felt totally freaked out during computing tutorial today... i couldnt do the hands on. and it was really stressful cause like everyone else seems to be breezing through it and i am the only one struggling with it:/ i just don get the subject man. now i am kinda wishing my laptop would just come to life and teach me their language. i wouldnt mind being a computer for a day, or even a week for that matter. ahha.
had my interview for the school sponsored scholarship today... really hope i can get it but then it didnt feel v good:/ as in it was a really boring and typical interview, nothing impressive or anything. honestly if i were the interviewers i prob wouldnt have a v good impression on me:/ fingers crossed hopefully they saw some redeeming quality in me and award me that scholarship.
feeling quite sian about tkd still. my failure to catch up with the others has been really depressing:( i feel so shameful having told ppl that i had learnt tkd before and was a brown belt. seriously i think i must be the worst brown belt in the world:( i bet ppl must be like wondering how the hell i managed to scam through all those gradings and get my belt. sometimes i wonder how i got here too. only comforting thought is that at least i am not a black belt. luckily i stopped before going for black, or else i would be feeling even more shameful that i suck so much:( i have thought of giving up, and have been trying to brainwash myself into taking a one year hiatus to train up on my stamina first, but i know its just an excuse:( i prob will just stop doing tkd altogether if i stop again now. its just that i have been feeling so lousy about myself during tkd that the thought of giving up just keeps popping up in my head. its like i am in an awesome team, learning from great seniors and an amazing coach, but yet i still feel damn lousy:( i really need to break out of this mental barrier or i will be getting no where:(
ok i must believe that i am a fighter, not a quitter.
just gotta take a deep breath and start again.
I was flying 20:17
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Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
Images: x x
Inspiration: blogger
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Thursday, 7 October 2010