the past week has been one of my happiest week since school started... small things that just brightened my day:)
mon -yy came to crash lecture for 2 hr and we were highly entertained by someone...
tues -i made new friends in tkd:)
wed -i talked to this ang moh accent girl in maritime studies
thurs -winnie drove me and xiuqi home:)
fri -went swimming with jas pang (we ended up sitting in the rain chatting)
sat -went shopping with mum
sun -"roadtrip" with wennie yy and lisa:)
oh and i didnt forget you jacq! ahah. havent smsed/chat with her in a while... but we smsed this week!:)
so although i can still count the number of friends i have in school with ONE hand (yes i am a loner-.-) but i felt a lot less lonely this week cause i know that i still have awesome ppl there for me outside of school!:) and i shall continue to remain positive that i will make more friends in school! shall aim to hit number of friends = countable with TWO hands by end of week. ahha. slow and steady yos. now that my aches and sores have subsided, i am really psyched to go for tkd on tues!:)
and i will bear in mind that even if i fail to hit my TWO hand quota this week, jasmine is NOT a lonely girl. she has plenty of awesome friends who are just an sms/msn/email/phone call away and a family who will always be there for her no matter what:)))
I was flying 22:06
went for tkd training yesterday and i feel like i should just start from white belt all over again. ahaha. my 2 years of tkd in the cc is NOTHING compared to just one session of training in school. i am ashamed to tell ppl i have learnt tkd before cause what i "learnt" is nothing compared to what they are doing man. aha.
the warm ups pretty much destroyed me alr. my non existent stamina proved to be a huge prob cause there was lots of running and jumping and hoping and generally things that are damn bloody tiring. i decided to join the whites cause i am totally a white belt standard to them anw. did some stretches and conditionnig exercises which got everyone screaming in pain... haha. and omg the invisible chair thingo.... pure torture... so after one of the craziest 3 hours of my life, i woke up this morn with a freakin sore body... front back left right up down you name it i got a muscle there sore. ahha. and my head decided it didnt want to be left out of the fun, so my gums started hurting like shit too. and damn ntu with all those long flight of stairs. i felt wobbly just walking down steps-.-
fail la me. i got a long way to go before i can catch up and actually wear my belt without feeling paisei:/ but the nice thing was i made lots of friends during tkd! aha. its like the ppl there are so much more fun and sociable than the engin ppl i have met so far. i made like 4-5 friends in aero in 3 weeks... but many more in 3 hours of tkd... ahha. i am damn pathetic right.
oh wells but at least now i have something to look forward to every week. although not really looking forward to the wednesdays after the tuesday trainings:/ aha. ok no pain no gain. shall build up my fitness level! gogogo!:)
I was flying 23:01
thats how my head feels like now-.-
just to let you know, i'm not making up excuses to not do my math tutorial. i REALLY want to get it done. right after i actually figure out what the whole bloody chapter is about:/ damn you newton. why did he have to figure out this thing called calculus! and gosh. don't get me started with computing. seriously! i rather learn alien language then the bloody C language. computers and i just don mesh. i destroy them, they hate me. simple as that.
and sigh next week is prob going to be the first FULL school week i am going to experience. and something tells me i am going to dread it:/ going to attend tkd on tues and i'm kinda excited but yet dreading it. excited cause yay i am finally going to re-learn my tkd and make new friends. but boo cause i think i am going to suck. my stamina and flexibility has eloped a long time ago. and its going to be embarrassing ttm telling them i am a brown belt cause they will prob give me the "how-the-hell-did-she-manage-to-get-her-brown-belt" look once they see me kick. rahh.
you get monday blues? i get premature sunday night blues:(
hot green tea to the rescue!!!
I was flying 22:07
something new i learnt today from my funny friend(ff). erm reader discretion is advised. i would rate this like a NC16. haha.
ff: HELLO! omg my previous tutorial was a SAUSAGE PARTY la!
me: huh? whats that?
ff: sausage party means got a lot of guys in the class la!
me: (holding my laughter in) oh... i didnt know that.
ff: really a lot of guys you know! its a sausage party la...
HAHA. i was holding my laughter till i went to the toilet. she probably mentioned the phrase "sausage party" like 5 times in the whole convo. till now i still laugh when i think of her saying it. ahha. i wanted to tell her about my computing tutorial group and how sausage party-ish it was. i was horrified when i walked in to find out i am the ONLY girl. i am praying for some reasons the other girls forgot about the lesson/fell sick and didnt come. oh but anw i didnt tell her about my class. cause i think i would just burst out laughing if she said something like "OH! so you are in a sausage party too!" lol. super entertaining this friend of mine.
I was flying 20:18
awesome day today:) had farewell for kn and the 6O girls...
went over to michelle's house for kn's farewell... although i only stayed for a short while it was nice getting to meet everyone again... and jacq won't be angry at me for not being able to meet her ahahah. poor ben slipped and fell on the pavement on our way there! and her butt was dirtied with algae. lol. she was like expecting the algae to grow on her or something-.- like culturing stuff on a petri dish haha. had fun playing fooseball, camwhoring and catching up... jacq was like always trying to steal our camera moments cause she has the damn big and damn pro camera while mine was just a teeny weeny digital cam>.< xiuqi =" 1">
headed to town to meet 6O next. 6O is awesome. i think our class outing attendance is amazing. i dont think we have ever went below half our population! i was half expecting only a few ppl to turn up cause of the late notice... but this impromptu dinner outing turned out to be quite a success! 15 ppl!:) and i'm sure we would have hit like 18 easily if i didnt give such late notice... ahha. gosh i miss these ppl SO MUCH. sigh seeing everyone reminds me of how lonely i am in uni and how comparatively awesome jc life was. which is really ironic given that i have been dreaming of my graduation day from rj since like j1-.- we had a class-ic 6O outing... lagged around in a huge group, with the girls talking about girl stuff and the guys talking about NS and everyone asked each other "where are we going?" lol. although it may sound like a damn boring outing (and we do this often) its actually v enjoyable. ahha. i dunno why.
after dinner we walked to the double helix bridge for some pretty pretty night view which actually translates to camwhoring. ahha. on our way there i had a nice long convo with isa... haha i felt a lot better after talking to her about my whole uni saga. during the chat i think i managed to convince myself and remind myself of my decision to stay local... and we had a super philosophical conclusion which is that in everyone's life there is a destination. no matter what path you take, you will get there someway or another. so if i am meant to study abroad, i'm sure i'll get my chance one day. and maybe my path was to study local anw... ahha.
to my dear friends who i said goodbye to today: kang ning, wenqi, isa, sheryl, yy... take good care of yourselves and have fun overseas ya!:) i'm sure you all will do great wherever you are!
I was flying 00:20
week 1 of school is over... FINALLY. gosh. only 4 days and i am alr so shack. its like 4 days down, still 4 years to go!!! depressing ttm!
school has been... LONELY. its my main feel for the week. i guess i am really not used to being alone... its like i am so used to the concept of classes, the concept of having the same group of ppl going for lessons tgt, for lunch tgt, to lag around tgt... i just feel so loner having to do all these stuff alone now. and looking around during lectures, i seem to be one of the few lonely ppl... everyone else seem to have friends except me:( sigh. feel like an outcast.
well i sort of made a friend, but i think i rather not talk about her. ahha. all i can say is, this is my karma. my karma for all the bad things i have done, for ostracising ppl from china. now i am the one being ostracised. and i am friends with the ostracised-.-
anw ccas are super sian... i mean they are not sian but the timing is just crazy!!! i wanna join so many things... tkd, shooting, some welfare club, aeromodelling club and lots of stuff! but then i see the cca timings i just faint. its always like 630-930. or 7-10pm. wth. i take like 1 and a half freakin hours to go home le. so if i end at 10 i will need reach home at 1130! gosh. but i think i will spread it out la. so for year 1, i decided to go with tkd! haha. some things you must do when you are still young:) hopefully by going for cca i will not be so loner anymore:/
like what xiuqi said, i shall try to accumulate good karma by doing more good deeds and CIP! ahaha. and i think i shall try to be more positive about school. positive energy right???
I was flying 21:09
to maintain a relationship, it takes two. unfortunately, relationships do not follow newton's second law. an action may not always come with a reaction. all you can do is to try your best on your part and hope for a disired reaction.
but i still belief in fate and the que sera sera of life. if you are fated to be friends, the relationship will work out someway or another. if not... hmmm ok. positivity.
I was flying 01:00
urgh i really hate life now.
life is so full of ironys. sometimes ironys are funny, you laugh and get over it. but it sucks when irony is a bitch that laughs at you and slaps you in the face, leaving that stinging sensation
right now, irony and i are not on good terms. AT ALL.
went for freshmen welcome ceremony today and i must say, i have never felt so alone in my life before. walking amongst 2000 odd ppl, but not being to recognise or relate to a SINGLE person really sucks. i felt like such a loner, in an environment where everybody seems to know everybody but i am the only one who is a lost sheep. there were like a million moments in that excrutiatingly long day that i wanted to just go home, but i told myself that i had to be postitive and perservere. and so i did, i sat through the entire thing, but i was completely silent and friendless throughout. i was stupid enough to skip lunch cause i didnt feel like eating alone standing in the crowd by myself with a plate and i ended up suffering from a gastric attack on my way home. i swear walking out of that auditorium at 430 and running after the shuttle bus back to pioneer mrt was the peak of my day.
i was feeling really upset and my head was throbbing like mad after leaving, as if punishing me for being such an antisocial bitch the whole day. as ironic as it may sound, i honestly believed today that i would actually feel less lost and have more friends if i had chosen to fly thousands of miles away to uk instead. i don't want to regret. i really don't. nothing hurts more like regretting your own decision. and right now, its hurting pretty bad. i dunno whether its just that i am having a rough start; i hope its because of that. i keep telling myself, ppl keep telling me its going to be a lot better as school goes on and you start making new friends. i gotta stay postitive. i kept supressing my feelings and psychoing myself, but once i let my guard down, that was it. a simple "how was school today?" from my grandma and a "you have to stay positive!" from my mum just made me lose it completely. i hate being so weak, not being able to stick to my initial decision. urgh fickle-minded me sucks.
pls let my uni life be awesome. not just good. it must be AWESOME. so that i will know that i have made the right decision and stop regretting.
I was flying 23:25
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Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
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Inspiration: blogger
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Sunday, 26 September 2010