yay happy happy happy my dear cousins are back from shanghai!:) can't wait to see them and play with them!:) i love being all silly and childish with them.
lol this sounds weird, but everytime i see my cousins and small cute babies, i feel like having my own baby. ahha. if only i could just put down everything and stop studying and go pop a baby of my own now... lol. ok my parents will be worried if they see this. the government should be happy though. lol.
oh random! i just realised the more children you have, the more expensive it is to have the next one. as in hospitalisation charges wise. weird right. i was wondering why that is the case. shouldnt it be like the more you give birth the cheaper it gets??? you know like how you go shopping and if you buy 2 items the second one is at 10% off or somehting. ahha. oh well i guess babies are different.
I was flying 23:04
grumpy grumpy grumpy! super whiny, pissed off over everything adn everyone. gosh. how i long to return to my bedroom, switch on the aircon, snuggle under my comfortor and just SLEEP. and daydream, and think of random stuff, and imagine random stuff. gosh those moments are so rare. i just want everyone to leave me alone!!
uni stuff are irritating the hell out of me... eveeryday i see that big fat pack on my table, but once i try to start doing something, i get lost by the instructions and i get fed up. stupid me. irritating forms. rahhhhhh. grrrr super dreading uni.
AND WORK SUCKS. and it sucks even more cause i can't give up this job cause i need money. hate it when you do stuff for the sake of money. even somethign meaningful becomes uber meaningless. feel like screaming at some ppl.
i need anger management or something.
I was flying 11:27
6O outing again!:) i was so super upset i culdnt join them at minds cause i wasnt able to leave work:( but steamboat was super fun still:) although the service is bad the food wasnt as good as before and the manager is an ass. ahha.
i love class outings. ahah. i love how we are always late, always lagging, always unable to make up our minds, but we still have loads of fun:) and the turn out is always super duper good! i dont think we have ever had a turn out of less than 10. act i think there is always at least half the class:) i love how our class gets along so well, without the presence of cliques (ok except the guy-girl divide) and everyone is able to talk to anyone feeling comfortable:) as cliche as this may sound, i really love 6O as we are like one big happy family:) ahah. my best class ever!:)
i always say 6O is amazing, but i really truly feel it now that we are all about to go our own separate ways. i believe that 6O will still have frequent outings and meet-ups despite our busy schedules and all. and i believe i am not the only one who believes so cause i can tell that everyone always makes an effort to turn up for class outings and stuff:) xue ting proposed a 4L gathering on fb and i dunno why i just didnt feel that hyped about it. its like 2 plus years have passed and all and this is our first gathering. and ok i admit i am guilty of not making an effort to go. i mean i miss xue ting and some ppl and all, but i know what is going to happen at the gethering. its going to be like seperate clique outings just happening at the same time. i'm not complaining about it, but its just how our class has been in the 2 years. and honestly, it feels more like a clique outing to me. i feel v bad to not go after xueting has put in the effort to organise, but..... sigh. ok what is wrong with me. this post is supposed to be about 6O and happy stuff!:)
i guess i have been really lucky so far... i thought i was going to hate rj and i thought that i was going to get out the moment i could, but then i met 6O. in j1, if you made me do the school survey and asked me if i would have changed my school option if i could, i may have said YES. but now, its definitely a NO. not that my opinion on rj has changed or anything. i still think its a elitist school and i still hate the IP system and all. but i don't think i will trade my 2 years of experience with this wonderful group of people for anything:) no matter how rahhh rj ppl can get sometimes, these people remind me that not ALL (but still many) rj ppl are bad.
in rj, i still had st nicks friends to rely on... but i guess in the next phase of my journey - uni, i will really have to be independant and survive alone. i need to break out of my comfort zone and stop being so antisocial and all. i may or may not get lucky and meet nice ppl in uni, but i know whatever it is, i still have my dear friends from st nicks and my dear classmates from 6O always:)
I was flying 19:06
wa piang. pissed off. unfair biased treatment. irritating ppl.
I was flying 12:45
yay smart jacq has helped me to change my blog title!:) computer genius!:) ok i know she is prob going to say that this was actually a really simple thing to do but for a computer retard like me, its the work of a genius! aha. now at least my blog title has a meaning. not "your title meh meh". haha. have been wanting to change it since forever. i was planning to come up with some philosophical meaning to "your title meh meh" if the title was unchangeable, but smart jacq did it!:) THANK YOU JACQQQQ
45 min since reaching office and i am alr feeling bored and sian:/ only 10 hours 15min to go??? bleah. hope today will pass quickly without anymore irritating comments. i hope they don annoy me to the extent that i blow up at them. cause it will be like a volcanoe.... BOOOM! ok must ren. i got an image of goody goody at office must try to maintain that. ahha. actually i wish time would flyyyy... to the part where my contract has just ended:) i cant prematurely end my contract... i still havent paid off my 1000 bucks debt plus i would incur an additional 250 debt if i end this prematurely PLUS i need shopping money. sighh.
shall take my mind off bad stuff and admire my new blog title!!!:)
I was flying 07:42
hmmm. i just realised i don't really know what "i think therefore i am" means. jacq is going to nag at me for misuse of the quote. ahha.
the human mind is so complex and weird. i always think that the idea of "subconscious thinking" is really interesting. its like sometimes i have this feeling like my brain is not really controlled by me. like my brain is controlling me instead, as if it had a life of its own. if everyone really has full control of his brain, then there should not be things such as subconcious thinking or uncontrollable emotions right? kinda scary thinking that we are being controlled by something that we cannot control. humans are born to be control freak huh.
was feeling this sudden outburst of emotions - disappointment, worry, gloominess and maybe a tint of envy? when i saw pictures on facebook of NUS law camp. although i have no idea what that has got to do with me, but i just suddenly felt this surge of emotions. and i couldnt control it. it just took over me and made me gloomy for the rest of the afternoon. if i could control my brain, then i should be able to prevent this surge of emotions right? hmmm or maybe matters of the heart and logical thinking are mutualy exclusive? i dont really think so though. anw the logical part of me started to think. so what exactly am i upset about? worrying about uni life? disappointed about not making it to med? envy of those who made it into the courses of their choice?
i dunno whats with me. i never used to be so "emotionally unstable". i thought i was the kind who was able to control her emotions well and would not show extreme emotions. i used to be relatively clear-headed and optimistic. but somehow this year i think that i have changed mentally... more vulnerable to emotions, mood swings and more pessimistic. i used to be able to look at a cup "half full". but i look at a half full cup and worry and fret constantly about the possibility of dropping the cup and breaking it causing it to runout of water.
maybe i am just thinking too much. need a brain wash.
I was flying 23:33
yay play day today:) wow it all rhymes. ahha.
crashed ben's house with a cake. i think her mum was more shocked than she was. ahha. suddenly got one whole flock of ppl standing outside with a cake. a bit paisei though, felt like we were interrupting something. ahha. and ben looked super busy. (maybe her bf was coming but then due to our unexpected visit she had to cancel. aha. sorry ben's bf!) we played with her super duper cute baby brother!!! ahhh so cute. makes me want to have a baby too. lol. he scam me and odd:( he always pretend want to give us something then when we almost grab it he takes it away! bully us:( and he took away our cherry and longan:(
then we played band hero for the rest of the afternoon... jacq and odd challenged their BRING ME TO LIFE again. miraculously, they didnt die this time, cause the song brought them to life. lol. ok not funny. well at least we didnt need to hear that song for like 10 times anymore. aha. after a while, we decided to challenge ourselves and upgrade to medium difficultly. but then the drums were super hard, so winnie odd and xiuqi were working tgt playing the drums meant for one person. ahha. odd was like doign a tribal dance cause she was the one stepping on the pedal. haha.
dinner at chomp chomp was yummy yummy!:) we had hokkien mee, satay, carrot cake, chicken wings, sambal stingray, fried oyster omelette, sugarcane, ice kachang... sooo much food. ahha. (jacq don be jealous) we also had INTERESTING ppl sitting in the table next to ours though. ahha. first was this group of aunties who were air stewardess. odd was so mean she was like "must be budget airlines!" ahha. but i also kinda agree la. then came this group of teens who openly stressed us to eat faster cause they were waiting for our table. but it didnt work. we were taking our own sweet time eating our ice kachang and eavesdropping on their convo. ahah.
happy birthday ben!:)
I was flying 23:25
rahh the ringing of the phone at work drives me crazy. sooo many phone calls! and the worst thing is many of these calls are not really for us-.- we are like general enquiries no. 2. ppl call our number to ask about all sorts of things. from advicing them on the type of medicine they are taking to weird things like how to use wireless@sg-.-
and sometimes patients are quite impatient for their bed and stuff. i used to be complaining about the long waits too the last time my ah gong was hospitalised, but now i realised that its really not the staff fault! if no one gets discharged, no one can get admitted. simple as that. but its like they don see the logic! (i didnt really get the logic too previously) we were joking that for patients who are like the I WANT IT NOW kind of patients, we can help them by knocking them out, so that they can get IMMEDIATE admission and bed placement, but under AnE. ahaha. but sometimes its the troublesome patients that make our job interesting. pros and cons of patient interaction i guess.
and we have been recording down the number of phone calls we received! lol. we can get up to like 14 phone calls in a busy half an hour le! on average i think we will receive AT LEAST 80 calls. hoping to hit 100! ahha. can you imagine, if each call is say 1 minute, i spend almost 2 hours on the phone daily! madness.
I was flying 19:17
life has been pretty good, if you consider normal good. no bad news is great news right? ahha.
enjoying going to work nowadays. not that i find my job particularly fun or anything. its still boring, but i think its not so sian anymore as i find more ways to entertain myself and get to know my colleagues better. its actually quite a good job you know, i earn money daily watching shows on tudou and talking to friends on msn. haha:) and on sat i will stay later to finish up my show or something and shun bian earn OT pay:))) and i'm so updated with the news now! cause when i get really really bored i start reading yahoo news and stuff. ahha.
i realised i have been in a much better mood since i dyed my hair. ahha. serious! ok maybe its not because i dyed my hair just so happened that all my troublesome stuff have come to an end since i dyed my hair. but i realised the colour is changing! it was really red initially, now its like getting more and more brown. and now i think cannot really tell liao-.-
life may be good now, but you know what will make life better? SHOPPINGGGG:)))) ahha. GSS le! but i promised myself i must lose some weight before going shopping. at least the weight i put on since my teaching stint. then i will have motivation to not put on anymore weight so that i can fit into my newly bought clothes. ahah.
looking forward to my cousins coming back:) life is getting boring. nothing fun to look forward to:/ bleah this blog post was a waste of electricity and time.
I was flying 19:05
1000 character appeal letter, 1000 bucks in liquidated damages.
my 1000 character appeal letter took what felt like 1000 attempts to get it right. i just kept writing and rewritng and rewriting again. its like do or die. and although i know the chances are very slim, a chance is still a chance, and i am not ready to give that up yet:/ really glad its done. have been stressing over it for some time.
and DSTA has sent the email asking me to pay $1000 bucks in liquidated damages. i feel quite bad having my parents pay for this, but i am not earning enough money to pay for it myself:/ ahh this whole DSTA thing was a big mistake. i shouldnt have jumped into it without carefully thinking first. i feel bad to DSTA too, cause like they prob could have gotten one more scholar, and my dumbness has prob caused the place of one aspiring scholar:/ oh wells if i am really fated to work at DSTA i will end up with them some how or another.
I was flying 23:54
crap crap crap i havent started on my med appeal and its due tomm!!! and i have driving tonight which means i have no time today either. waaaa i hate myself for always procrastinating!!! all my scholarship essays and stuff are all done like one day before deadline or like an hour before deadline kind-.- but i got no inspiration to write!!! ok i know i am not writing a story book its just a 1000 character essay but then.... rahh. currently my med appeal draft (its like 2 random sentences only) is stored as a blog post draft-.- gg sia. sigh if i were good at writing this type of essays, i would have prob alr gotten into med and not need to write an appeal:( i dunno what to write... i don want to write big great things that are not true but if i dont my essay will prob be the same boring essay that everyone writes? hmmm or maybe if everyone thinks that way and write great big things my small little boring essay will pop! ok but if they have the same thought as me then no point. ahah. its all relativity man.
its so ironic that i am workign in a hospital but i have no inspiration to write a med appeal essay!!! ok i shall go take a walk around the hospital later and see if i can get any inspiration from looking at doctors and med students:) if not, i am dead.
I was flying 08:20
was super pissed off at some people's attitude. but i have now attained self enlightenment! aaha. i'm becoming so philosophical these days.
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
just heck care what other ppl do, and do what you are supposed to do. why make yourself upset over things like that. 对得起自己良心就好！
I was flying 13:16
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Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
Images: x x
Inspiration: blogger
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Wednesday, 30 June 2010