bahh really tired today. had an interesting day though. many many new insights.
wennie and i started our attachment today. morning we observed clinic. it was pretty interesting cause we saw many liver transplant patients. some post transplant some pre. it was really interesting seeing the interactions between the doctors and the patients. its like when you are a doctor, you get to take part in a person's life and really get to know the person. there was this uncle, he was really energetic and all despite having had a liver transplant. he was wearing really bright clothing and like star-printed pants. ahaha. i really liked his response when the doctors were all like "whoa new look today ah!" he said "yea new life what!" its the optimism that really brightens up the whole atmosphere. and the transplant coordinators were so cute. they were trying to "matchmake" patients. ahah. and i am very thankful to my grandparents for having taught me dialect. i think its such an essential skill esp when you are interacting with a lot of old people. i really don understand why ppl don want to learn it. but i had a real good experience in the clinic:)
hmmm i was kinda optimistic and all but after lunch when we were walking around the wards, i felt quite sighhhh... its like you see all this people suffering and struggling, then for some reason i dunno why maybe they are not supposed to do so or something but like no one really helps them? i dunno. like there was this uncle who was trying to get his dentures right, and he was kinda strugglig with it for quite long but no one helped. i had this urge to go up and put it on for him but no patient contact allowed. sigh. and also some patients are a bit mentally deranged and they are tied down to the beds. i think its really really sad to just lie in bed the whole day, not even able to move your hands. then there was this uncle who is a bit schitzo. i think his daughter cant care for him but he was like "i call her now she will come bring me home. my daughter loves me very much" it was such a heart wrenching feeling. and many a times, the 4 doctors will just stand around the bed and discuss the patient's situation, and the poor old man will just look at them. can you imagine ppl standing around you discussing about your fate? whether you live or die? i dunno but i sort of sensed hope but at the same time fear in their eyes. and there were quite a few cases where i heard "is he suitable for surgery? No. is he suitable for transplant? No." then my heart just sank.
i still dunno whether i really have the aptitude to be a doctor. as in i really wanna help and all, but am i up to it? just seeing myself getting so emotional makes me scared. many ppl say its something you get used to. but how do you get used to telling ppl that there is no hope for them anymore? hmmm. i guess this phrase that i heard from some medicine speaker is really true. "a doctor often relief, seldom cure, always comfort." its an unescapable truth that sometimes there is really no cure for a patient, but nevertheless, the doctor will always smile to the patient and comfort him by saying "you are doing great, keep it up, you will be fine". I guess this really helps the patient by boosting their morale. i believe that if you have the will to live, you will live. even for another day, another minute, you will definitely hang in there longer than someone who has given up.
I was flying 22:45
|
Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
Images: x x
Inspiration: blogger
|
Thursday, 25 March 2010