hmm. rough day today. just realised there is really a lot a lot a lot of work to do, and i'm feeling really burned out. i was feeling so... #$%^&*(^% that i broke my promise to abstain from bubble tea for a week (although tomm was the one week) cause i was really feeling like crap and i thought bubble tea will work its magic. it did help a bit, but only a bit. so yea, go figure.
you know there are times when ppl go"no its ok, lets just trash things out."? ITS NOT OK. cause you know what you are going to say is prob going to hurt ppl, cause what you are going to say is not very nice. plus everyone is going to think you are a total bitch and all. how many ppl in this world can really accept critisism gracefully, without any hard feelings AT ALL, and still truly treat you the same? not many i'm afraid. call me coward, call me a loser, but i think its no use to trash things out, cause what's the point really? its just going to create lots of negativity. i'd rather keep it all inside, bitch about it, and act like nothing happened the next day and get on with life. oh fine, now i'm a hypocrite too.
bahh maybe its just me. maybe i'm just stressed out and having a bad day. maybe i'm just feeling really shitty and acting like a total bitch and brat.
ten years later, i will look back on this blog post and go, oh how childish i was. ten years later, i will realise, hey actually things werent as bad as i thought. ten years later, i will go, oh actually it was just me, its my fault... oh but screw it. i shall save that for ten years later. or at least 10 hours later. for now, i just need to cool down, and cmpletely isolate myself, to be myself again, where no one will judge me, where i wouldnt need to care about what others thought of me. after that, i shall return to the real world with my mask put back on.
had a chat with bro. made me feel a lot better. was able to blabber on and on to vent my frustrations. although the outcome was him using vulgarities to comment, lol, but it was nice having someone understanding how you feel and agreeing with you.
my bro scared the hell out of me. the first thing he told me was "i going police". i though he got into a fight or something! he got stopped by 2 plain clothes policemen to check his bag, but he refused, thinking that they were fake, cause they were acting all suspicous and all. he was so brave to challenge them and made a police report. turns out those 2 guys were real policemen and they wanted to check his bag cause they suspected him of being a loanshark. lollll. they say got a lot of teenage loansharks these days so they wanna patrol and check. lol. must be cause my bro had a v qian bian face. haha:)
wow such a long post. alright shall go do my work le.
tommorrow, it'll be like it all never happened...
I was flying 20:10
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Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
Images: x x
Inspiration: blogger
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Friday, 1 August 2008