life is a vicious cycle.
while walking to school, we talked about vanessa, who was from the red batch. heard she has some brain disease, some blood vessel burst around her brain, and now she is deep in coma. the worse thing is taht she is in trinity college, in australia. sigh. although i dont know her personally, but i feel so sad for her. sigh. she is so young, she hasnt seen the world yet, but she may leave us anytime. may god bless her with a speedy recovery, and bless all her friends and family. ALL RED BATCH PEEPS, PLS GO BACK TO SN TO FOLD PAPER CRANES FOR HER!!!!
i suddenly feel this emptiness in rj. yes i do have a great class and great friends and all, but i lack SPIRIT. rj lacks spirit. i know this may sound lame stupid and childish, but i was put off by this habit of not greeting people. we had IBP on monday, and this high comissioner from india came. when he arived, no one showed any signs of recognition. when mons and i wanted to greet, people gave us weird looks. its BASIC COURTESY!!! i really cant stand it. it feels so rude.
rj ppl are just so indifferent about everything. now i understand why ppl say rj is not a good school. because it lacks spirit. rj teaches us knowledge. it teaches us what we have to know to get our As for A levels and keep rj as one of the top jcs in singapore. but it does not teach us compassion, it does not teach us respect, it does not teach character. they say it, but no one feels it. i get extremely put off by rude ppl in lectures cheering when the bell goes, leaving LTs during lessons. its so freaking rude. you may think rj is fun with all the activities and all, but if you look harder, its a cold cold place. no one, not even teachers will go the extra mile to help you; no one cares, unless the issue has a direct impact on them; there is no respect for teachers, or for anyone in the matter of fact.
in st nicks, whether you know a person personally or not, you will smile to taht person in school, or even outside. you will greet teachers when you see them, no matter how mundane it may be. you respect your teachers and schoolmates by showing consideration. you sincerely love your school and friends from the bottom of your heart. you would sacrifice yourself to help others, teachers sacrifice their time just to help you.
most people may think i am overreacting, making a fuss, exaggerating. but its this contrast between st nicks and rj that makes it so hard for me to truly adapt to this new harsh cold environment, or would i say, fake happy environment. st nicks has been such a great place, i would go back if i redid my PSLE and gotten 299. even if it means taking o levels again, i would gladly do it. it has taught me so much, while in contrast, i feel taht rj is taking away all that i have learnt. i enjoy myself in school with friends, but when i get home and think about it, i have just wasted one day learning nothing, putting on a mask acting happy.
now, i wish i were a part of another jc.
you wouldnt understand how i feel, unless you were part of the st nicks family, unless you proudly wore that blue
pinafore with that crest on it, unless you truly felt the st nicks spirit.
i need to go back to st nicks, to prevent myself from becoming into someone i'll grow to hate.
I was flying 21:17
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Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
Images: x x
Inspiration: blogger
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Tuesday, 13 May 2008